Thursday, February 24, 2011

At least you

 At least you
in the network extends to every household, every person, when online dating thing right now that are very familiar with most boys and girls, everyone will play at the right time a little courtship . we even make love on the Internet, exchanges of experience on the Internet. But all this is that five years ago was unrealistic romantic. even planted deep into the mind of a man, so he never know a person more love or online love life, love. This is now a number of efforts because you want to find prey online dating network fans feeling is very different.
he called Sky, who lives in a city with me, in the calm water of life in Canada, he and I often have the time drinking coffee and listening to him he had. his mouth, she lives in Singapore, a typical sunny girl, he said he had seen her picture, very bad health the kind of beautiful girl, and later she made the advertising model, he called her Ah May. There was a time, I am jealous of the A May, A May because I have a strong sense of hatred when, Sky is my boyfriend .
sky in boyfriend made me a lot of fragmented story, get the text as a default like the dance scholar, I think they are, they often want to summarize it into a complete story, in the quiet times, I'll sit to organize those things. a boy, in an ICQ chat occasionally met a girl that Singapore and the United States May, in a tired state of waste, the end of this courtship. then another emerged, one that I hhhh
the spring of 1996, Sky that he is most unfortunate people. because he was expelled from school for the simple reason, because he was a week classes meet for five days as much as mine . He entered the school today to see the school announced he was expelled from the list on the list, he also self-deprecating guy on the side said: now! been recognized from an early age, the total would not have not graduate from high school, right? China Middle School when it is read only fourteen years old, but the third year did not graduate, family emigrated to Canada, so the poor little Sky had to read again from the high school play. If it is not out of the middle had a small trouble, and he now should be graduated from high school. childhood like fighting the Sky play for the first time in Canada when the aircraft suffered eat enough, in addition to the police investigation was taken away asking questions asked most of the day, the school expelled him mercilessly. From After that, Sky do not want to study hard, in addition to a decadent, more high school he's tired of really thoroughly.
day that was expelled in the dinner time, Sky Back home, the bag for a throw to the sofa, singing: , anyway, I did not do anything, but that did not go to school a few days, the school happily gave me fired. the hands of the chicken, sitting on the sofa for a good talk with his son.
, I'll move out. Anyway, I've almost nineteen. understand that he is a really bad mood, or do not like talking with her mother. He patted the heavy keyboard, and then sat there staring blankly. ICQ that sounds like a child-like cry is called, he knows there are many who sent messages to chat with him, but he did not mind, a home. against my own reputation.
two
the days without school, Sky but do not know what to do, before the truancy, to play games with girls in order, there are a lot of time, but he do not feel interested in these. He cut his hair long hair, do not start school each day.
morning, sleep twelve, the first meal together, and then the afternoon is to sit at a computer next to the full bubble there one afternoon. Sometimes at night chatting together with friends to go drinking and smoking, but by the weekend, he will feel lousy, he thought: She said: care? You Japanese ah? ; than me, called me a brother, I will talk with you. said:
; Really?? ? br> girls silent, Sky felt bored, he snapped, then remembered something and asked: > , and I wait for you. beautiful people are ugly, I think you must be ugly in Need. unless you try to prove that you are not ugly. said: handsome, how do you prove that you are as you say? was white, you wait for me, I'll soak you back. drinking, he ran out mixed. mingled back after midnight. an on-line is a lot of information on a troubled ICQ. He hastily looked into, she found a man named May, and he was full to chat up that afternoon in Singapore meimei.
br> people, really, where Shadeng? arises, the day is the lowest in mind when Sky. He did the same parents, a very intense fight. because he can not stand his father this way of life, and very severe to inform him immediately to find a school to continue your studies or do not eat meals at home.
Sky sitting at the computer next time, mind went blank, happened May sent me A message: :
time, he and Ah May is the illusory reality of the network exchange with. Sky will own happiness and not every day happy to share with Afghanistan May, if she is not online, he would write long Email, if a few days not met on the Internet, he would have lost, would somehow in a bad mood. is love in this unexamined network, Sky had a whole year, this year, and that he had received numerous photos A May He also made a lot of photos to her birthday that year, when he was nineteen years old, he kept in the room and the Arab-May-line of this metaphor to celebrate the birthday of the adult.
next to the computer, all A space for all the photos May, Sky drinking beer, two of them while waiting for the twelve, although the difference is not the same, but the other side of the A May guarding guarding the mind waiting for the computer to say: Happy. ; I am nineteen years old, I will not live like groggy, and I am ready to find a job, I want to make a lot of money, and then take you over, I marry you all right? : pull out of the car depot, to send a shuttle to various streets to sell its duties, when the only support of his word: playing video games, not even time to fight. he was a bad boy from the circle to climb out, he knows how to love this thing at the time, he decided to change their lives.
Sky I know that year, 1998, He had just twenty years old, a handsome boy was tanned, had never been seen I first came to Canada soon, the first summer of the first job is to find a job in the restaurant, the waiter he did, I pass food . At that time I only know like a machine, like every one and a dish to pass, when the kitchen sent out of the food into my hand, I can not hear often as those who are unwilling to accommodate me and say, Guangdong If the kitchen workers talking about the wrong, I cried a lot, Sky will always help me, I do not know which day to love from him. Shanggong time thinking about every day and his mood would better, then the plate because I did not do, so every day doing manual cycling. Later, when the first idle Sky to speak with me: Shanggong, the cycling you will freeze to death. His heart was not likely to put on me, because I always had a feeling, feeling he had a very close girlfriend, or I could not find a reason that he told me the beauty of what is generally accepted turn a blind eye.
finally have the time I asked him: answer, but my heart is still significant loss to the extreme. And then I finally left the restaurant, because the school, and I feel back to school back pack, and occasionally I will think of him, and occasionally I would call him, pure friends. And he had never been seen only a beloved girlfriend, is online Ah May, of course, these are later after I became aware of his girlfriend. when he is not with me about May, although I including some psychological curiosity makes me more than once asked him about his girlfriend, he is mentioned he has been silent.
four
May I certainly do not know the year is a Ah Star Tankan in doing advertising model, while Sky will occasionally see on the Internet A May filmed some of the ad photos. She began in a state of semi-red is not red, that day in May ICQ speaking on the Sky and A: Canada to see you. so I'm red, I had a lot of money, want to go Where to go. Now he raised the topic, he thought A May will be moved to cry now. But he guessed wrong, he could not help saying: big ah! Yeah! Now I'm not a little girl, and you are not the little rogue, and we have grown up, ah! This network creates a tired love psychology. he has true feelings with a significant investment, but one day she was in the fever. At first she said she was busy chatting on the Internet can not communicate often, although only some small supporting role and some advertising to film, but she still seems very busy, until one day, she became the spokesman for a drink after a busy her up completely. then Sky will have to be careful also mentioned something about her coming to Canada, Her reason was too busy, and Sky has proposed to come and see her, her reason is still too busy, pumping air stay with him.
Sky took a day's salary throughout the week on the phone talking with A May for a long time, talk to what specific, Sky have not talked with me, I only know that afternoon, he did not go to work every day he called me asked me after class, to come to the school to pick me up, I was surprised, 1998 mid-tail, that was a boy I've liked for a long time finally I got Sky.
day he cried, I had never seen boys cry, but he actually hugged me and cried. I know what to do, but panic asked: do not hesitate to say: life. cohabitation first night, our passionate lovemaking, only thing I wonder is, he does not kiss my lips. without a kiss of love, in my opinion is not sound, but I could not afford to start to finish get a real kiss. Later, when everything calmed down, he told me A piece of May, and then he was an official told me: One is the reality. I finally finished my studies, but I did not think the relationship between me and Sky are the same as my school, near the end. our time together I always think that they are happy, we are like a pair of cold and Like birds nestled heating, and in my mind, this heating has not had a real sense of understanding, I have not thought about if one day try, bird's nest when I left, I What to face life. my life is only a Sky, I used to sleep at night and the feeling of dependency, used to tell him where I hurt, is wrong, but money used to save money, save money to live this way feeling. But I never imagine that kind of life is missing something, may also be thought of, but still refuses to face, would not seriously think about it. until one day, I accidentally saw the Sky and A May e-mail I came to understand one thing, in between me and him there is always a big problem, but I never want to face to face too.
Sky preserved over the years and all the letters A May, all the letter was full of genuine feeling burning, which more than a year with Sky I like a quiet life with watery contrast. I finally opened his ICQ, see above, there was the name of Ah May . end of the century's last Christmas, Sky restaurants busy, I am a person in the house playing computer games, the first time I felt what sky falls down. because I opened his ICQ, above the line A May, passed over her The first message is: ? I said I would for you to celebrate every year, but when your birthday this year, a show I am in Malaysia, I did not celebrate for you. This year we have more than one occasion about A May, although I also have been deeply hostile to her, but I never thought I would face her and through the stage this computer. But a dark heart Department of curiosity led me to still go on with her talk: All along, I thought I would meet a good partner in life, I do not want your tired and sustenance that only a feeling on the Internet, just as I tell you that the same as: we are tired, if not the end , will destroy all the better. But I know this because we maintain a good feeling, so I can not find in life, a better feeling sustenance. I have a girlfriend. We lost something. I still love you, you do not throw me to Cloud Nine, I believe in themselves. still remember the first time we have sex on the phone? My first night was that for you, that my real first night, I do not believe I am still a virgin, because I still think my first is for you. in Afghanistan between May and I make a choice, would you choose? I answered: chat, she really beautiful? he has healthy skin, proper measurements, he likes to eat vegetables do not like to eat meat, she was very tired when Fadia but very cute, she gently up like a rabbit, but when she when the character is also very angry, and her blood type is AB-type strange, her favorite is the Japanese TV drama series, she hhhh, but these are all you told me. I chat with him, I just know you still in their heart is always occupied an important position, then I do? What am I? This offensive is your woman hhhh sounded: District ranked second in her to hurt you, you come to me heal, you want her, you are the embodiment of when I was her, when you really need sex when the phone is difficult also to meet the time, my body is your best handy hh hit me. I Dengyuan eyes looked at him fiercely: obtained without paying. I do not know that we be more than a year what day, be regarded as a perversion of love? I have to act as a kind of role? open, still bitter at him, he tired of sitting on the sofa, said: a state of mind, but I wanted you to accept him, you can accept me, understand me. But I know you can not, now know you can not do. between the two of us do? you and you have his Email preserved. in both our personal life, always has a May in the middle, I want to like her favorite purple, I want to tan her skin like Honey I want to like her gentle, I want to be like her do not like meat, too much stuff, you take her standards to me, and I'm so tired. I'm not her, I am me, if I so long jealous heart can hold back and never attack because of your honesty made me not to do, because I'm her earlier in the post, but today I could not help but want to talk with you, can you forget her, I am also a person, also have feelings, selfish woman and some problems I have, I beg you forget her. , I made it very clear in my mind, there is always a girl's position, but she is not my life, why should people with a hollow in the struggle it? I do not come out with a physical fight no matter what rival? you could not think of me this shadow struggle between rival how tired. I think hhhh, I think we ended it! , the heart there are ten thousand voices saying: such a point where I do, what can be done.
silent for a long while, he Fan Shen returned to the bedroom, I heard he packed his things, I sat on the sofa, one could not move, I do not know moment should help him to pack up and go, or flutter in the past told him: When he came out of the bag and left, said: ; Why are you so hard? Why are you so cruel? . But when a long-standing habit of relying on sudden loss, relying on each other just as two people, one person walked away, another person will be flashed. I was a bit heavy flash, I found that I fell down . When the Sky box to mention his admitted the day of my house, I found that the capacity of their own true underestimated. I have been unconsciously repeating a mistake, and that is that He is mine, he is my own. but I was wrong, he is not me, he is his own, and I can not control him, but can not ask him like I love I love him so.
whole two weeks, in addition to the restaurant every day I work, the remaining time listening to music all day, and immerse themselves in music and tears into, I never tried to listen to so much music, never been like this deep to understand the lyrics of each song. Sky has not made a phone call to me, one day I finally called him, his mother said he went to Singapore. this time in my audio, Huang Pin Yuan singing: But I did not think, in my own little room, I still would wake up, there is no plot in the novel as it was found that gastric lavage swallowing my hospital, nor the novel's hero as the heroine bed kneeling He awoke before the circumstances of the request. I just do wake up, I woke up half Shuiliaoyitian. I went up and washed her face rickety, and then call the boss and told him I was sick, because the disease was too heavy so there is no leave in advance would also like to ask him not with me. in recognition by the boss, I took the jacket out of the door, I told myself: think Sky will be in two months suddenly after a certain time to call me, I, as usual, slept until noon, getting off work late last night, tired, woke up at noon was ringing. I picked up the phone, Sky as did two months ago said to me: right? can be. front of the mirror carefully wears makeup, I would like to make while waiting for his side. The whole afternoon, when I was an hour well of good makeup, then went to the door of the convenience store to buy his favorite drink NESTEA, then again rub the kitchen again, suck the floor again, he still did not occur. I cried spent the makeup of their own well. Sky did not come, nor call me.
I got back home after working all night are not asleep, lay until the afternoon before so get up, do not know when that started out under the snow was. to the stage a time, the snow is still hard, but the road has been integrated for a very thick layer of snow, I called the boss, I said I do not want to go, this snow, I guess there will be no guests, I want to leave, but the boss said two other people today, leave, or should I go to work anyway. I am helpless to put cotton out of the door. very hard to name the car, I drive the same vehicles every hard as a forward slowly. I suddenly remembered last winter when I and Sky to go skiing scene, and that is the first time we've been on vacation, the two of us piled all the money together, have a wonderful vacation that time. The first time I ski, from the mountain like a ball rolling down like when I Sky is still clearly remember the frightened expression, scratching and scrambling to catch up with his crazy, I slip down the hill, his mouth kept shouting: I do not understand after two months later, he hurt me again and again, when, and why my mind will be the emergence of such continuing his shadow, I kept patting the name of the steering wheel, but the tears still sliding down, his smile, his anger, including numbness in his face were so deep into the chrome my mind, how can impeccably cleaned out?
Strangely, I drove away from the Sky in the home does not far away, cars began to surge up, like the symptoms of each anchor as before. I wiped tears from my experience, it is not completely out of order in before the transfer to the street. My baby horse at the door finally Sky across the street to issue a final stop breathing soon mourning. I looked at the door of the house across the street Sky, my car would be so surprised that I have spiritual anchor here, and suddenly I have a strong feeling, I want to see him I want to see the Sky. I called his phone, but the phone no one answered, I got out to knock at his door, no one at home. I returned the car, I decided not to find the trailer, taking the work, I want to come back here, Sky and so quietly.
Sky, however at this time is very fast in the snow driving, I do not know where to go, do not know why he would choose in such a weather , drive fast driving on the highway. After that, I can imagine his car like the movies, like sliding around in circles place the name of a semi-circle turn and then rammed into the fence, his head heavy touch of glass to the left, large areas of broken glass with blood hh
Sky When I sat in the car door in the Sky quietly waiting for him, I never thought he would in the hospital operating room, first aid, I was just said to him: results. I well remember the big snow day, I sat in the car, and almost all were frozen, I think this may be an act of God, God called me at his door broke down, I even think that had never been seen God I'm here waiting for him to come back, but I do not know that I can not wait for him forever.
later, Sky's mother from his pants pocket to find a ring, a wedding ring a little I ...

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